At this moment I really miss my baby Little H. Even though I just send her to parent in law house this morning.

Lately my time schedule was a bit tiring since the flyover construction nearby office  area. I have to send out my baby to PIL house early in the morning which is on 6.30 am to avoid damn bad traffic jam. Same like during fasting month. Then I just manage to reach back home in late evening around 7.30pm – 8.00pm depends on traffic. It’s really make me tiring plus I have to cook for dinner.

Due to compact daily’s schedule , I do not get enough time to spend with my baby. Every day I can only spend time with her for 2,3 hours. It is so disheartening. Some time I have bad feeling that I felt like part time mother.

This coming 16th November 2013, Little H will turn to 6months. This is the solid time to give her solid food. I wish I will able to cook for her every day. I want her to eat all food that prepared by me. I want her to know that her mother really loves her and trying all hard to give her the best even though I’m not always by her side.

Sometime I felt like useless mother. I have to work and regrettably I unable to take care of my baby 24hrs. I am suppose to take care and educate her as well as see the progress all the growing up time. But I am not the lucky one.

I always pray and really hope that one day I will be a housewife and 360 degrees looking at my own children. Mama miss u Aina Nurhikmah 😦

Little Hikmah

My baby daughter was already 5 months+. Glad she was at the early stage of weaning. Yeay! During the 5 months injection and checkup, her weight was 6.9kg. According to doctor Roliza, her weight has a bit fall down. However, still normal in the development graph. I’m a bit worried. Doc explained that maybe she starts to active turning her body lying downward, moving and playing. And it is normal. Ok, a sigh of relieve  🙂

IMG-20131022-02387

As usual development of 5 months baby, little H is like others baby. She starts like to grab anything that close to her and put it in her mouth. She likes to screaming and laughing. Haha. I noticed that she also attractive to anything that has a bright color. Little H also like to watch cartoon and football match! Oh my. Haha. It’s all about her father.

IMG-20130928-02280

she also like to read book :-O

Since she was 3 months, I am starting to teach her using flash card. It is not too serious since she still a baby. I just like to practice myself and make her become routine with the flash card. Unfortunately, I am unable consistent. But,I promise myself to make this one of priority and be discipline.

As the weaning part, doctor Roliza has advice me to introduce her some baby food like puree and nestum. But I am very excited to cook and feed her blended food or porridge. Hihi I know it’s too early. So, follow the doctor’s advice, I had make some apple puree for little H. Good because she likes it. Beside that I’m also give her some rice nestum and she’s seem ok.

I had a wish that little H will be a bright girl. So I started to give her a sunnah food like kurma and raisins since she was 3 months. I blend the kurma and raisins into a paste texture and give her twice a day. I’m happy that she used to it 🙂

IMG-20130827-02137

I’m not sure all woman have a desire to be a housewife. Certain may be not. However, for me, I really want to be housewife.

Since I have a child, I really felt emotionally depressed about to be a good mother. Every mother wants to give the best to her child. Unfortunately, I am not the lucky one.

I really want to raise, take care of my child by my own. I really want to be a stay at home mother. I want to look at every growing phase of my child. I do not want to send my child to anyone else.

Since I have started my work, I only have limited time with my own child. Every early in the morning I have to send my child until late evening I manage to meet her again.  As my child still a baby, I only have 2,3 hours per day to see my child wake up. At night she will sleep as early as 8.00 pm. So, plus minus from the morning until night, I only have total time spend 2-3 hours maximum? I am her mother!

I only manage to spend my precious time with her during tight weekend. Weekend is tight for me because only that time I have to divide my time to do a house chore. Working 5 days a week start by driving early in the morning and go back late evening make me tiring and nothing much house chore can be settled down.

Every time I go to work, deep inside my heart I will feel sad.  The most heartrending time when at night, I only manage to see my child sleeping and send out her again in the next morning. How useless I was felt.

Man might be not understand how about woman feel. For them its normal nowadays working woman being just a part time mother instead of housewife looking at their childs.

Its really heart breaking. Now I really miss my dear baby  aina nurhikmah.

Everybody have his or her wish. Any wish. Some people wish to have big money. Some people wish to have business. Any attainable or unattainable wish is a people own strive.

I also have a wish. A simple wish but yet to attain. I wish to attend a sewing class. Want to learn how to sew my own baju kurung etc.

I also want to have my own sewing machine. Further to have a skill on sewing, maybe  one day I can be a fulltime house wife?

Lately I feel very sad and upset. In addition, he often raises the same issue. He will not satisfy with me forever until my death. Nobody wants fate like me. Everyone wants the best. However, luck was not on my side.

He never tries to understand me but keep put blame on me forever. He does not even care about how I feel because others feel is more important.

Sometime, I felt useless.  I cannot be as expected by him.

At this time, I just want someone who can support me emotionally.  

Unfortunately, I just can endure it alone…crying myself

my_eid 1434h

Assalammualaikum..

How’s your syawal preparation? I’m sure most of you are busy with syawal preparations in the last days of this Ramadan. I choose a modest preparation as prior years. But this year’s will slightly different with the presence of Aina Nurhikmah.

This year instead of my husband and my baju raya, I was excited buying clothes for the little ones. Because of my baby is a girl, there is many beautiful and cute design clothes. Sometimes I become confuse because do not know which one to buy. Hihi.As today, I have bought a few gowns and shirt for her. Maybe I will add few more soon. I also have bought her baju kurung. It’s so cute. Even though she’s too small, I manage to search newborn size for her. Cannot wait to see her in baju kurung.Haha.

For the first time, this year I will celebrate eid at my parent in law house. I only have a pair of baju kurung which is in law family theme. They choose plain and different color patch lace baju kurung. Mine is in purple lace. After got the baju kurung from the tailor, noticed that the lace looks too simple and blank. I decided to puts some beads on the lace. At least it will look more appealing and nice looking. Because of DIY, I choose the simplest beading. I have no time to design heavy beading. Even the simplest, it is really takes time because I have to sew the beads one by one. (actually do not know real beading technique haha).

Below picture is taken after a few beading. I hope that I will finish it before eid. I will also add some more pairs readymade baju kurung. Last minute baju raya’s hunting.

IMG-20130729-02009

I do really love baking. Every year I’ll bake some cookies and cakes for raya. Unfortunately, this year I am unable to do it. Insya Allah I will only bake some chocolate cakes. This is all because of Aina Nurhikmah. Hehe. I have no time and a bit tiring. As result, I just choose to buy all the kuih raya.

That’s all for my eid grounding. There is nothing interesting about my preparation. Just a simple preparation. I hope that all of you have a smooth preparation and have a blast Syawal with your beloved families.

Assalammualaikum…

How’s your ramadhan 1434H?

I hope this Ramadan was perfect and blessed for us. This Ramadan even more special for our little family. Eid will definitely more lively and meaningful with the presence of Aina Nurhikmah.

Even so, this month my schedule more compact and quite exhausting. During this month, working hour was accelerating from 8:00 am to 8:00 am for the opportunity to return home early at 5.00 pm instead of 6.00 pm. This is because I have to send my baby to house-in-law. Because of far travel distance, I had to get out of the house as early as 6:30 am.

After-work at 5:00 pm, I would rush to the house-in-law to fetch Aina back home. Plus minus normal traffic congestion, I’m able to reach home around 6:30 pm. After Aina finished bathing, I will continue to cook for iftar. Although the daily routine have changed and a bit tight, I am still will cook for husband. Nevertheless, sometimes we are also buying at Ramadan bazaars like kuih muih.

Despite feeling a bit tired during this fasting month, I still feel most happy and grateful to be able meet Ramadhan al Kareem again and yet accompanied by the presence of beloved little Aina Nurhikmah, my jannah husband and both beloved parent families. Alhamdulillah.

IMG1375068446897op

Assalammualaikum to my little readers,

Again sorry for taking too long not update my blog.
Due to the busy time of uncertainty and health during pregnancy, I could not update this blog continuously. With praise to Allah, I would like to announce that I have delivered my baby on 16th May 2013. It’s Teachers Day!

After 2months,today I want to make some notes about the excitement and endless gratitude for born of my little princess – Aina Nurhikmah bt Mohd Raziman.

IMG-20130516-01017

I’m expected to deliver on the due date 17may 2013 which is exactly 40 weeks. Luckily, I give birth a day earlier and it was on teacher’s day celebration.

IMG-20130423-00983-5-2_1374727651215_n

I do not expect to be confined on the day because I did not experience any labor pain. But since I’m too tired of waiting for long and legs were swollen like a monsters (3times bigger than normal size haha), doctors have suggested me to deliver on the day using the induce method.

IMG1374727068853_1374727285874_n_1374727437498_o

At first my husband did not agree to induce and asked me to wait to feel the pain naturally. But when the doctor explained that induce only to trigger the pain of childbirth and it is not dangerous. Furthermore doctor tell if I want to delay the birth for a few days more, there will probably be a risk baby poo poo in the stomach and the baby will become infected.After my husband understands, then he agrees upon the doctor’s recommendation.

At 9.00 am on 16th May 2013, I check in at DEMC to do the birth process. After registration, I had been placed at daycare ward to make a CTG monitoring. At the beginning of CTG monitoring, found contractions occur irregularly.

At 11.00 am the doctor come and check opening of servik and it’s only 1cm. After that the doctor continue to thrust the induce. Doctor told after 1 or 2 hours I will start to feel pain.

At about 3.00 pm I was transferred to a labor room after there are available of room and continue CTG monitoring. The CTG start to show regular contraction and it’s mild contraction. I still did not feel the labor pain.

At 5.00 pm the doctor came and rechecks the opening of servik. Luckily, it turns to 4cm. Doctor asked me if I had feel any pain and I still have no pain. Then the doctor does water broke. Doctor told me that I’ll be expected to deliver as early on 10.00 pm onwards. Oh pity me to wait more longer.

On that day, my husband was fasting. Because of delayed of birth, I asked him to go back and break the fast outside.

After an hour of water broke, the midwife insert me a diarrhea bullet to make me poo poo  and she said after few minutes the medicine will react and  I’ll feel to go to toilet.  Then after more than few minutes i still don’t have the feeling.. hihih

After 6.00 pm i’m starting felt the real contraction. It felt like a regular period pain. But i still may hold the pain. Continuously with the period pain, suddenly my stomach ache and i want go to toilet to poo poo. I thought may be the medicine slowly react on me. It is so bad after more than 3 times i go to toilet, i still unable to release my poo poo. I felt very pain. Im crying and asking the midwife why i can’t simply bowel and the medicine slowly reacts on me.

The midwife just nodding her head and smiling and told me that maybe it is not to bowel but the baby wants to come out. Oh i’m curious because i just felt like to poo poo.

The midwife rushed me to lay on bed and she check the servik . Surprised when it’s already 9cm and the midwife directly call the doctor. She also asked me to call my husband back.

At that time i’m afraid that my husband has no time to return back to the hospital as he just go out. Lucky me because my husband just around the hospital’s lobby.

After a few pushed finally i’m safely delivered a healthy 3.4kg little girl at 7.33 pm beside my husband. Once my husband break the fast, then the baby come out.Praise to Allah. After all i can conclude that i just felt the real pain less than 1 hour and it just felt like to poo poo. Syukran ya Allah. Alhamdulillah, HE eased my delivery.

IMG1374728054820-2

 

I’m exciting to shop baby’s stuffs and gadgets! At this moment I just keep controlling myself to buy all those things.

As today, I had surveying thousands of website and many baby’s outlet. It’s really helping me to manage financial planning for baby’s preparation. Good news is, my husband will allow me to start buy on February. Counting days! He he he

My list!

  1. Baby’s clothes
  2. Baby’s toiletries
  3. Baby’s skin care
  4. Bedding set
  5. Breastfeeding set
  6. Stroller and car seat

Waiting in February

wish item - medela swing

wish item – medela swing

love quinny zapp xtra + maxi cosi

love quinny zapp xtra + maxi cosi

ohh cannot wait! 🙂

July 2017
M T W T F S S
« Nov    
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  

Categories